This is it....

Did you ever have that moment. You know the moment that everything suddenly makes sense. That moment that your heart is full of pure warmth and joy and happiness. That moment that there is complete peace in your life.

There are moments that are amazing, like the space shuttle leaving the Earth or watching a whale breach in the ocean or sitting on top of a mountain. Those moments are special and full of awe but they aren't that moment.

It's a similar feeling to that moment when you met your true-love but it's not that moment I'm speaking of.

My moment may seem a bit simple to others but it was my moment, my that moment.

It was raining and our newest family member, Molly, cam inside from the rain. Alex saw Molly was all wet and insisted that he be the one to dry her off and ran for her towel. I figured he would just throw the towel on her and be on his way. But he didn't he dried er with such care and warmth. He kept saying "Poor Molly, I have to take care of her and make sure she's dry and warm." Then Hunter comes into the kitchen and insists that he must take care of Molly too.

The two boys work together to take care of her and make sure she was comfortable.

As I'm watching them I have that moment. I get the most incredible feeling, almost glowing. It was that moment in the Grinch when his heart grows because of the Who's singing even without there Christmas presents. I realize this is the moment I wanted to achieve.

I want my boys to be caring, loving and to be able to work together especially to help others. I realized that at this young age they understood what it meant to help others and to work together. This is it....my moment.

Oh the Places I Will Go

Wow, I have been given an oppurtunity to stat over. It's not often this happens. I get to decide what I really want to do when I grow up. Do I want to stay in my current industry and play it safe? Or do I want to do something new? I decided to start a list, put down what I want and what realistic.

Here's a list that's been flying around inside my little brain:

Emplyment Options:

• Pharmaceuticals-Quality Assurance, Regulatory
• Open a tutoring center
• Open a bounce house place
• Find a part time job doing something not sure what
• Pet Walker/Sitter
• Teach Science
• Become a truck driver and hit the road with Molly (and maybe Kitty 9)
• Government/State job
• Green Job (Save those darn oily duckies)
• Consultant-Business Analyst
  

Go back to school:

• Teaching degree
• Radiology Tech
• Sonogram Tech
• Public Health

Non-Emplyment Options:

• Stay home with the boys
• Move to a commune

What I would like to do:

• I would like to stay home with my boys. I want to school them myself and teach them what I want them to know and what I think they should know. I want to have them learn a foreign language and sign language. I want to be able to take karate lessons and play soccer. I want to be able to give them a good life.
• I would like to be able to teach young kids science and help them build a love and understanding of science.
• I want to be help to continue raising money for cancer research.
• I want to be able to not have to worry about bills and health care.
  

Reality:
I can't afford to not work. My family depends on me to provide for us. My salary is needed to pay the bills and I'm the one that provides the healthcare insurance. If it wasn't for insurance I could do exactly what I want to do for my family. I can not afford to not have health insurance. For some reason I seem to get crazy odd ailments that could and would bankrupt my family. I'm hoping never to get anything again but everyone who knows me knows House is based off my life or my children's(did anyone see the Henoch-Scholien Purpura episode????). So the reality is I need to work and need to get good benefits.

• Does this mean I will need to uproot my family to stay in my industry?
• Do I look for a new industry in this area?
• Do I go work at Starbuck's part time and get benefits through them?
• Do I find a commune and live happily ever after?
• Do you go into teaching even though that is not a secure situation and still my not be able to work in my community?
• Do I look into opening my own business?
• Do I say screw it all and jump in a truck with my crazy dog and hit the road?

A Change

It's been an interesting year so far and it's only April. I received what I shall call an "opportunity" to spend the summer wit my kids. I was notified yesterday that my position has been terminated. I am fortunate enough to get a severance package so I'm going to take the summer and spend it with my boys. I'm going to get our beach pass and live at the lake this year!!! We are going to play, garden, swim and learn to ride bikes!!!!

I have been working since I was 11 so this will be my first free summer in quite a few years. This will be a great time to figure out what I really want to be when I grow up and take care of the boys without stressing.

The boys have so much going on I think we have seen every person in student services at our school. Hunter is in speech due to his severe speech delay and now physical therapy because his legs are weak. Alex is in the enrichment program, speech (because of his Mass accent) and the school counselor because of his ADHD and anxiety. Yikes that's a lot.

Things will be quite tight on the money side of things but we'll figure it out. I'll take this time to read some books and spend time with the kids!! I'll revisit my chemistry and biology books, maybe I can tutor or think of some brilliant invention and make millions. I will also be able to start blogging again!!

I'm also going to focus on raising money for the Jimmy Fund Walk, cancer research shouldn't stop just because I don't have a job. My team has changed a bit which hurt me a lot more than losing my job, but that's a blog for another day.

Anyway, it's time for a change!!