Oh the Places I Will Go

Wow, I have been given an oppurtunity to stat over. It's not often this happens. I get to decide what I really want to do when I grow up. Do I want to stay in my current industry and play it safe? Or do I want to do something new? I decided to start a list, put down what I want and what realistic.

Here's a list that's been flying around inside my little brain:

Emplyment Options:

• Pharmaceuticals-Quality Assurance, Regulatory
• Open a tutoring center
• Open a bounce house place
• Find a part time job doing something not sure what
• Pet Walker/Sitter
• Teach Science
• Become a truck driver and hit the road with Molly (and maybe Kitty 9)
• Government/State job
• Green Job (Save those darn oily duckies)
• Consultant-Business Analyst
  

Go back to school:

• Teaching degree
• Radiology Tech
• Sonogram Tech
• Public Health

Non-Emplyment Options:

• Stay home with the boys
• Move to a commune

What I would like to do:

• I would like to stay home with my boys. I want to school them myself and teach them what I want them to know and what I think they should know. I want to have them learn a foreign language and sign language. I want to be able to take karate lessons and play soccer. I want to be able to give them a good life.
• I would like to be able to teach young kids science and help them build a love and understanding of science.
• I want to be help to continue raising money for cancer research.
• I want to be able to not have to worry about bills and health care.
  

Reality:
I can't afford to not work. My family depends on me to provide for us. My salary is needed to pay the bills and I'm the one that provides the healthcare insurance. If it wasn't for insurance I could do exactly what I want to do for my family. I can not afford to not have health insurance. For some reason I seem to get crazy odd ailments that could and would bankrupt my family. I'm hoping never to get anything again but everyone who knows me knows House is based off my life or my children's(did anyone see the Henoch-Scholien Purpura episode????). So the reality is I need to work and need to get good benefits.

• Does this mean I will need to uproot my family to stay in my industry?
• Do I look for a new industry in this area?
• Do I go work at Starbuck's part time and get benefits through them?
• Do I find a commune and live happily ever after?
• Do you go into teaching even though that is not a secure situation and still my not be able to work in my community?
• Do I look into opening my own business?
• Do I say screw it all and jump in a truck with my crazy dog and hit the road?

A Change

It's been an interesting year so far and it's only April. I received what I shall call an "opportunity" to spend the summer wit my kids. I was notified yesterday that my position has been terminated. I am fortunate enough to get a severance package so I'm going to take the summer and spend it with my boys. I'm going to get our beach pass and live at the lake this year!!! We are going to play, garden, swim and learn to ride bikes!!!!

I have been working since I was 11 so this will be my first free summer in quite a few years. This will be a great time to figure out what I really want to be when I grow up and take care of the boys without stressing.

The boys have so much going on I think we have seen every person in student services at our school. Hunter is in speech due to his severe speech delay and now physical therapy because his legs are weak. Alex is in the enrichment program, speech (because of his Mass accent) and the school counselor because of his ADHD and anxiety. Yikes that's a lot.

Things will be quite tight on the money side of things but we'll figure it out. I'll take this time to read some books and spend time with the kids!! I'll revisit my chemistry and biology books, maybe I can tutor or think of some brilliant invention and make millions. I will also be able to start blogging again!!

I'm also going to focus on raising money for the Jimmy Fund Walk, cancer research shouldn't stop just because I don't have a job. My team has changed a bit which hurt me a lot more than losing my job, but that's a blog for another day.

Anyway, it's time for a change!!

Long Time, No Blog - Part 1

It's been a long time since my last blog, lol, I feel like I'm going to confession.

The past few months have been pretty insane. Since Brian lost his job last December our life has been a roller coaster. (Note: Not blaming him just explaining the timing. It actually worked out great he lost his old job and has a great new job!) But since he lost his job we had to change preschools for the boys which turned into a nightmare for my oldest. Thankfully the teachers at the school were very patient and wanted to help him. His brother did great but is much younger as well as more adaptable. His teachers suggested we contact the public school system to have him evaluated. We did and was told we suck at parenting, read a book and try again next fall. Fan-freakin-tastic. Well we didn't take that for an answer and found someone to evaluate him on our dime. Boy am I glad I did, we finally got what is going on. He definitely has ADHD, anxiety and has a very high IQ. Of course looking into this I find that combo has a high tendency towards drugs, ugh, I can now never ever let him out of my sight. He'll be 30 and I'll be following him around. I can't even let him go to college because I know what goes on there.

Now we know this what the heck do we do with all this information?? The school social worker wants to meet with him but that was a month ago, the child will be in college by the time they ever meet. We decided to once again find our own answer and therapist. Of course insurance won't pay but it has to be done. I really really don't want to medicate him so we need to try everything we can to help him now. Our main focus is to help with the anxiety, I think once that is under control the rest should fall into place but with a lot of hard work on all sides. He knows something is going on and I really think he's willing to give the ideas a try. I hope we can give him the right tools now to cope in his life later.

He's doing great in kindergarten and has already finished their curriculum. Thankfully his teacher gets him and is pushing him to go further not just extra busy work! He loves writing in his journal and is making up his own adventure stories. He loves school and loves sports (soccer, basketball and swimming, not all at one time). I'm so proud of him!!

to be continued........

Unbelievable

I'm fortunate enough that I can work from home two days a week. I have the two boys home with me since summer has stated. they get to play outside most of the day while I watch them and get my work done. It works out quite nicely and all are happy!!

Today we had a great day. They played on the playscape coloring it with chalk and I worked in the kitchen while watching my two love bugs. I made grill cheese sandwiches and we had a picnic outside drinking lemonade and eating our sandwiches, lazily watching the clouds go by. This was followed by some serious swinging on the swings. What a beautiful and relaxing day. They cleaned up the yard and came in for naps and a movie.

After naps we got ready to go for swim lessons with a quick trip to the library to find books on jet planes.

On the way to the library I notice at the center of town the road to the left is closed by the state troopers. I figure there must have been a tree down (lots of rain) or a bad accident. I wasn't going that way so thought very little about it. I get to the library and the parking lot is empty. I figure it's a Monday afternoon so there's nothing to it. I get my two small children out of my car and walk up to the library door. It's locked with a sign that says closed due to an emergency. It's a small town library with limited staff so I figure somebody most have gotten sick. I think to myself I hope they will be well. I let the boys play around a bit on the benches and poke slowly back to the car since we are now early for the lessons. While we are being silly outside two people stop by and try to get in. The librarian opens the door to them and turns them away. The hurriedly go back to thier cars looking at me and my boys but not a word is said to us.

I finally gather my brood back into the car and start towards the swim lessons. The roads still blocked but doesn't impeded our progress. All the major buildings in our towm are pretty much in walking distance, that is the town hall, library, post office, school and bank. I drive by the bank and it's completely roped off with numerous state trooper cars and I finally notice the helicopters and planes flying overhead.

Here's were I completely lose my cool. Apparently there was a bank robbery and the freakin suspect ran away on foot. The town was on lock down. I mean come on. I'm a resident with two small children and no one said a word to me that my family was in danger??????????????

I'm fuming. I want to start making calls and don't know who to. Brian doesn't see it as anything big. Really???????????????? What was wrong with that librarian? Yes, my youngest did once tear apart the children section but is that anyreason not to warn us??

Seriously, how unbelievable is that??????????

Brothers

So we are learning about the brotherly dynamics around here. A definite love hate relationship between my two sons. They always want to be together but can't stand when they are in each others space.

Hunter is always looking up to big brother and wants to do everything he does. If Hunter gets a sticker, he always makes sure his big brother gets one as well.

The other day Hunter grabbed a balloon that belonged to Alex, ran outside and let it go. Alex was devastated. We got the balloon at a restaurant we went to after kindergarten orientation and they gave it to him as a special gift. I have never seen Alex so upset.

The next morning the boys were downstairs watching TV together. Alex came running upstairs to look to see what hunter did. We go down and our lovely Hunter got hold of a pen and drew all over our leather coach. The swirls were very artistic and the rice flour he grabbed to hide the writing really added to the whole scene. I would have taken a picture but Brian's head was about to blow up. It really takes a lot for him to get upset and this really did it. Anyway, we found out Alex tried to stop his brother and tried to clean up after him so he wouldn't get in trouble. Did I mention the water everywhere mixed with the rice flour and ink.

So one moment they are ready to kill each other and the next big brother is trying to cover up little brothers mess. It was strange to comprehend all this. At first I just wanted to scream at them then I took a step back and really looked at what was happening. they are really little human beings finding their way in this great huge world. They will torment one another but in the end I hope they will always be there to help one another.

Stamps anyone?

We started getting back into hiking last year. We have some great trails near our house. One is the airline trail and I'm now discovering many many more. Our town started a Hike and Go Seek. There are 5 trails we need to take a clues that help us find an object we record on a "score" card. The first trail we did the clues led us to a letter box. Well when my 5 year old found a box hidden that contained a stamp and ink pad he was besides himself. He had been balking at the idea of "walking" and it was "stupid". Well this now has turned him into liking hiking. He now wants his own stamp and keeps asking to find more trails with stamps.

I heard about letterboxing a while ago but never had time. It seemed fun to follow clues and find boxes hidden away on beautiful trails but just wanted to enjoy hiking without the quest. Apparently we will now be letterboxing. Alex has already figured out his and his brothers stamps.

Today Alex and I played hookie from school and work and we decided to complete one of the hikes on our own. There were two trails we could have taken one very short and the other was quite a hike (get it?). The longer one's quest was a letter box and he decided that we MUST do that one. We spent almost 2 hours hiking to and from the box. What a special time I had with him!! He read all the trail markers to ensure we were going the right way and always kept us on course. We discussed evolution and he corrected me when I mistakenly said dinosaurs aren't real (I meant they are extinct) and he corrected me. We also found the most beautiful beaver pond full of wildlife. We saw trees cut down by the beavers and explore the teeth marks and examine remnant wood chips from the beaver activity. It was truly nature at it's finest. I was even scared by a wood duck.

I think letter boxing is going to be a major factor to get Alex out on the trails without to much fuss.

Happy Hiking Everyone!!!

Deep Sigh

Well, Alex had soccer today and it was as if had been playing with those other kids for years. He did a great job. It was like he found his place. He listened to the coaches, paid attention and followed through with everything. Of course this was his first time ever playing but it was so wonderful to see his smiling face on the field.

As we were walking to the car to go home I said to him "You did a real good job!" He says to me "I know." I'll need to work on his modesty a bit.